Mandeville couple named Foster Parents of the Year

When Roslyn and John Incandela moved to St. Tammany from New York eight years ago, they had already given some thought to adopting a child.

The Mandeville couple had two children already, and complications after the birth of their second child had left them with misgivings about having a third.

“We always felt we wanted to adopt, but it’s much harder in New York,” said Roslyn. “Once we had settled here, our church put out a plea for adoptive parents, and then later my son’s school had a blurb in their newsletter about fostering.”

She persuaded her husband to attend a 10-week orientation session held by the Covington Region of the Louisiana Department of Community Services. Unsure if they were suited to be foster parents, they went out of curiosity and to learn more about the program.

Roslyn said they knew it was the right choice on day one. Nearly five years later, the couple has fostered four children since their certification, and in May they were named Foster Parents of the Year for the Covington Region.

“They (OCS) asked us to come in, and we thought it was just for a regular meeting,” said Roslyn. “When we got there they had balloons and cake; we were just floored.”

Foster care worker, Dawn Hamilton, and home development worker, Jessica St. Pierre, nominated the couple

“What makes this family exceptional is not necessarily the sheer number of children that they have fostered but rather the exceptional quality of care given to each child, and the dedication that they continue to have for their children’s birth family connections,” stated the nomination letter.

A large majority of children in the foster program are available for adoption, but some are only placed in the program due to a temporary situation. The first child to enter the Incandela’s home, a baby boy, came just a month or so after they completed the program. John and Roslyn fostered him for a year, and then adopted him as a permanent part of their family.

The next child was supposed to be placed only briefly, but the arrival of Hurricane Katrina meant the child stayed for several months.

The Incandelas are also in the process of adopting a little girl who came into their home at 3 weeks old. Born prematurely, the baby was afflicted with amniotic banding syndrome, in which the limbs are entrapped in fibrous strands of the amniotic sac while still in the womb. This constricts the growth of the limbs, causing them to fuse together in some cases, and sometimes results in heart and respiratory problems as well. Roslyn initially thought caring for the girl might be more than they could handle.

“At first we thought it might be too much, but we fell in love with her,” said Roslyn.

She stayed up with the tiny infant all through her first night in their home, and since then the couple has shepherded the little girl through several surgeries to separate her fingers and toes. Doctors had predicted the tot would never walk, but now at almost 2 years of age, she runs everywhere she goes, said Roslyn.

The couple had a third biological child, now 13, and Roslyn praises the older children for being extremely supportive big siblings.

“They’ve been wonderful,” she said. “We all have to be in it 100 percent to make it work, and we couldn’t do this without them.”

Roslyn said the thing that has surprised her most about the experience is how quickly the children connect with the foster family. Even as infants, she said, they seek love and attention, and are able to form strong bonds quickly.

With five children under their roof, the Incandelas may soon have to call it quits.

“We’re running out of bedrooms, but you never know,” Roslyn said. “There are so many kids in need, sometimes you just don’t have a choice.”

However, the 9-month-old biological brother of their first adopted child has entered the program, and with her strong belief that siblings should not be separated, a sixth will soon be on the way.

The Covington Region of OCS comprises St. Tammany, Washington, Livingston, Tangipahoa and St. Helena parishes. According to OCS recruiter Tonyalea Elam, there are nearly 5,000 children in the foster program across the state, with over 200 foster children residing in St. Tammany alone.

“We feel it is imperative that the community take responsibility for these children by becoming a foster/adoptive parent, or by joining in the recruitment effort,” said Elam.

Elam said recruiters are available to address church groups, business meetings or other small groups, or individuals may choose simply to post a foster care flyer. To be a foster/adoptive parent, one must be at least 21 years of age; be single, married, divorced or widowed; have adequate physical space in the home for a child; provide a safe, nurturing environment; and have energy, time and patience.

To learn more about the foster care program, go to www.fostercare.la.gov or call 1-800-256-1918.